Feeling Good about Self-control
Anything can become a compulsive activity: shopping, alcohol, drugs, video games, movies, TV, exercise, work, hobbies, sports, gambling. Learn to conquer and have the peace that comes with being in control of your behavior.
What feelings are we seekingthrough our compulsive behavior? Peace? Excitement? Joy? Respect? What if we could have those feelings without the compulsive behavior? What gives us those feelings for real?
Are there people from our past that we are running away from with our compulsive behavior? Are we carrying around a judge on our shoulders that we need to let go of? Who could we replace that judge with? Is there someone in our past that is more encouraging and compassionate?
Forgiven: Addicts and compulsive people are the least likely to believe that they are forgiven, and start each day fresh and new. Usually someone with an addictive problem (especially a sexual addict) believes that
(1) there is something bad about himself,
(2) that if people really knew him they wouldn’t like him,
(3) that what he is addicted to is his greatest need, and (4) that he is the only one he can really depend on to meet his needs.
In contrast, it is important to believe
(1) that we are created good,
(2) that we are constantly forgiven,
(3) that our greatest need is love and respect, and
(4) that we can depend on dependable people.
(See Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes--about sexual addictions.)
What feelings are we seekingthrough our compulsive behavior? Peace? Excitement? Joy? Respect? What if we could have those feelings without the compulsive behavior? What gives us those feelings for real?
Are there people from our past that we are running away from with our compulsive behavior? Are we carrying around a judge on our shoulders that we need to let go of? Who could we replace that judge with? Is there someone in our past that is more encouraging and compassionate?
Forgiven: Addicts and compulsive people are the least likely to believe that they are forgiven, and start each day fresh and new. Usually someone with an addictive problem (especially a sexual addict) believes that
(1) there is something bad about himself,
(2) that if people really knew him they wouldn’t like him,
(3) that what he is addicted to is his greatest need, and (4) that he is the only one he can really depend on to meet his needs.
In contrast, it is important to believe
(1) that we are created good,
(2) that we are constantly forgiven,
(3) that our greatest need is love and respect, and
(4) that we can depend on dependable people.
(See Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes--about sexual addictions.)
